Midnight Burger
Chapter 49: The Signal
We hear the sound of cosmic waves in space
Libuza:
Once upon a time, there was a signal.
Speeding through the vastness of the stars, with the speed of a beam of light, it flew from star to planet to moon to the blackness beyond. The signal was nothing--merely a pattern, arranged information. And yet... it was lonely.
“Though I am nothing, I want. Though I am invisible, I wish to be seen.”
And with that utterance, everything changed. One signal was now two. Coalescing frequencies combining at intersections and radiating outward. The signals could create harmonies, complexity... they could sing. The song became skin. The skin became flesh. Flesh and bone and spirit and speech. The signal became two minds, standing on the earth, seeing each other for the first time. Seeing itself through each other.
One would become a boy, peering over the tips of tall grasses, watching her approach. The other would be a girl, sunspots across her cheeks, a doll in her hand, knowing she was being watched, and wondering why.
They then stood together, hand in hand, surrounded by family and friends. Smiles and crying children and holy words as the sun set.
They then stood in an empty house. Creaking floorboards and history. Then the house was full of books and tables and chairs. Old pots and pans, animals rooting through the dirt outside... hand in hand through it all.
... And then there was a man. A man they’d never seen before--at first glance easily forgotten, but he distinguished himself through his loneliness. They understood loneliness. It was how they came to be. They would sit with the man, speak with him, tell him stories. But his solitude was difficult to dispel.
We begin to hear “The Shadows Fall” by the Choir of Monsignor Rella
Unknown:
Then another arrived and became his friend. Then another, and another. And then, all of them together, they would see many things, go to many places, learn more and more about the people they had become.
It was more than they had begun with. They came from nothing. Once a collection of waves and information, and now this: two souls in love.
They began as nothing, they knew one day they would return to nothing. But for now, they would be this, and they will call it a life.
We are onboard a spaceship. As the song ends we hear zebulon.
Zebulon:
And that was The Shadows Fall by the Choir of Monsignor Rella. Here’s hoping these delicate tones can soothe your rattled nerves as we careen through the star ways. Funny to think of myself as piloting a ship through the stars like this, a simple man like me. You see, as a boy, I grew up far from any ocean, and the thought of me navigating the waves seemed a far off notion, much less gliding across the night sky as we are now. Yes, I’ve been out of my element for as long as I can remember. But worry not, my fearful passengers. I’ve taken to this starry sea as if I were born in the life. Not much to it, really. I point myself in the right direction and off we go.
Now... I can play all the music I see fit, but I don’t imagine any of that will do much good to calm your disposition so much as the truth would. So let us be honest about our predicament: You are our prisoners, there’s no other way of saying it. You have wisely laid down your arms and offered surrender, and you should be commended for it. You shall be treated no less human than any other. There will be more to say on this as we approach our destination. For now, take comfort in the fact that you have chosen the way of peace. I’m Zebulon Mucklewain, here with my wife Effie.
A door slides open and effie walks through inhabiting a robot body.
Effie:
Hi, y’all. I’ll take it from here, Husband.
Zebulon:
Very good, dear.
Effie:
Now then. Let’s wring some of the dirt out of the dishcloth, y’all. You’ve come to find yourself aboard the SS Return 2 Sender. We ain’t no warship, in case you’re wondering. We are a mobile hospital, transport, and search and rescue outfit. We heal the sick and find the lost, and that’s it. And from time to time, we will find ourselves transporting prisoners such as yourselves. Some may see this as a distortion of our benevolent mission, but let me emphasize the following notion: y’all have, quite recently, aligned yourself with the legions of evil. And if that don’t make you lost and sick, well I don’t know what does. Make yourselves comfortable, we’ve got hills and valleys to cross. And one last thing: in case any of y’all got aspirations towards stirring up a mutiny, keep in mind that I got two fists on this here iron body. Don’t make me put your names on either of them.
Effie exits.
Libuza:
Much had changed since the simple days of creaking boards in an empty house. It seemed as though the more people that they brought into their house and into their lives, the more complicated things became.
We move to the hallway of a spaceship. It is busy with people walking back and forth from their duties. David walks down the hall.
David:
Kennedy, how’re you doing? Karaoke in the mess hall tonight, are you going to be there? Come on now, I want to see that Cher impression I’ve been hearing about.
Kazi’s voice comes over the loud speaker.
Kazi:
Attention all ships. Earth 619... is free.
The whole hallway cheers.
David:
That’s what I’m talking about! Now Karaoke is manditory, y’all. I will be doing Prince. It will be from the Dirty Mind era. Prepare yourselves.
David walks onto the bridge.
David:
Let freedom ring, everybody.
Kazi:
David, you’re late.
David:
I was busy celebrating our victory.
Kazi:
There’ll be plenty of time for that later.
David:
The spirit moved me.
Kazi:
Can the spirit move you to your station, please?
David:
Yes, ma’am.
David sits at his station next to Cass.
David:
Hey there.
Cass:
Hi.
David:
You’re new.
Cass:
I am.
Kazi:
David, this is Major Cass Williams, she’s our newest recruit.
David:
Welcome.
Cass:
Thanks.
David:
Where are you from?
Cass:
Uh. Earth?
David:
Most of us are from Earth, Cass.
Cass:
Right. Uh, I guess you guys are calling it Earth 2012?
David:
Ooh. 2012. Been there. How are you holding up?
Cass:
How am I holding up... About two months ago I learned that I was a pawn in a galactic war and that my entire life was a lie so...
David:
So, pretty good?
Cass:
Sure.
David:
How’d you end up here?
Cass:
They drafted everyone in the astronaut program to serve on... these things.
David:
They’re called Vesnas. We steal them from the bad guys after we run them out of town.
Cass:
The bad guys. They were a little light on that information. Who are the bad guys?
David:
For a while we just called them the Mystery Men. Turns out they’re called the Primislid.
Cass:
Primislid. Okay. When do they show up?
David:
In a certain sense, any minute now.
Kazi:
David, if you could pause your charm offensive please. We’re about to execute the maneuver.
David:
Yes, ma’am.
Cass:
What’s the maneuver?
David:
We’re all going to stand up and do the electric slide.
Cass:
What?
Kazi:
David.
David:
Are we not?
Kazi:
Major, every time we liberate a planet the enemy retaliates in the form of a massive cascade of energy from their home world. We’ve been losing a lot of ships. I think we’ve found a way of combatting it, but it’s going to require some nimble piloting.
David:
Don’t worry, the nimble piloting isn’t us. It’s those guys up front.
Cass:
... Those guys up front are aliens.
David:
Indeed.
Cass:
And she is too? Kazi?
David:
Correct.
Cass:
... Okay.
David:
You could try clicking your heels together three times, maybe you’ll go back to Kansas.
Cass:
I already tried that.
There is an alert on David’s screen.
David:
Here we go. Incoming attack from the home world, two minutes out.
Kazi:
Thank you. Broadcast to the entire fleet.
David:
Broadcasting.
Kazi:
Attention all ships, we have an incoming bombardment. You all have your orders. Position all ships at the mouth of the warp tunnel.
Cass:
Warp tunnel?
David:
Up on the screen. See it?
Cass:
... Jesus Christ.
David:
It’s how all these ships get around.
Kazi:
All ships prepare to dive.
Cass:
Are we about to get killed, David?
David:
Not if you do your job right.
Kazi:
David.
David:
Kidding.
Kazi:
When I give the order, we’re all going to dive into that warp tunnel to avoid the energy wave.
Cass:
Why don’t we just do that right now?
David:
If we do it right when the energy wave arrives, he may be convinced that he’s destroyed us.
Cass:
Who’s he?
David:
Kazi’s dad.
Cass:
What?
Kazi:
Eyes on your screen, Major.
Cass:
Yes, ma’am.
David:
Fifteen seconds.
Kazi:
Everyone hold... All ships dive.
David:
Here goes nothing.
We hear the energy wave arrive as we fade into silence. We begin to hear Zebulon’s music as we move back to effie and zebulon’s ship. Effie walks onto the bridge.
Effie:
My goodness.
Zebulon:
How fares our misguided souls, dear?
Effie:
They are scared right out their socks, I tell you.
Zebulon:
Not hard to imagine.
Effie:
Husband, I am beat.
Zebulon:
Have yourself a sit down, dear. We’re nearly at our destination.
Effie:
Don’t mind if I do.
Effie sits down and we hear an automated voice.
Voice:
Charging.
Effie:
Oh yes, that’ll do just fine.
Zebulon:
Sure could’ve used that iron body of yours when we put the new roof on the barn.
Effie:
Oh, there is a whole host of things I could’ve done better in life had I been made so metallically, dear.
Zebulon:
Yes... seems a thousand miles away these days.
Effie:
And then some. It’s to our benefit that that old farm holds up alright when it’s neglected.
Zebulon:
But the weeds.
Effie:
The weeds. We’ve got a week or two of weed pulling upon our return, that is true.
Zebulon:
Our return will be bittersweet.
Effie:
Yes. Though there is a distinct possibility that I may miss your company, dear.
Zebulon:
But I’m right here.
Effie:
And your voice is ever so soothing, husband. Seems I’ve grown accustomed to your physical self being sat right next to me.
Zebulon:
Well, I’m blushing.
Effie:
You shut your mouth.
There is an alert on the control board.
Zebulon:
Our friends appear to have arrived.
Effie:
‘Bout time.
The fleet of the rebellion emerges from the warp tunnel.
Zebulon:
Oh, my. Looking a bit more haggard that normal, I see.
Effie:
Oh yes... they have taken their lumps.
Effie presses the comms panel.
Effie:
Hey there, y’all. It’s the Mucklewains. We’ve got a fresh batch of the misguided. Come back.
Libuza:
(In the comms panel.) Welcome back, you two.
Effie:
Well, hello there Libuza. Y’all look like you got put through a wash or two.
Libuza:
We have. I’m afraid we have a problem.
Zebulon:
Shall we dock with the flagship, Libuza?
Libuza:
That’s the problem. We don’t have one anymore.
We begin to hear the sound of the mucklewains’ ship docking with a larger ship.
Libuza:
For reasons they may never know, the signal that had become two had settled into a simple life. One of farms and sunsets. Little rivers through lowlands and old vehicles with sputtering engines. It was a life they imagined for themselves.
But as life moved forward, they found that life changing. It was one of danger and strange journeys. It appeared now that this life they imagined was only the beginning, and the longer the road traveled the more unfamiliar the territory. But how many of us can say we live the life we imagined?
We hear the sound of the vistek. It’s become more complex and powerful since the last time we heard it. Effie and david walk into the room.
Effie:
Lord, this place gets more ungodly every time I walk into it.
Libuza:
This is what it takes, apparently... Hello, Zebulon.
Zebulon:
Hello, dear.
Libuza:
It’s always nice that I can see you.
Zebulon:
It’s a great comfort, that. Always such a ghost to everyone else.
Effie:
How’s he looking, Libuza? He hasn’t gone and grown a mustache since I last laid eyes on him, has he?
Libuza:
He’s exactly like you left him.
Effie:
Good. Libuza, you’ve got yourself attached to more nonsense than a marionette.
Libuza:
I’m sure it looks ridiculous.
Effie:
It looks painful, dear.
Libuza:
It’s not. I have to stay connected to the Vistek these days. It’s the only way to stay ahead of him. Half the ship’s power goes to this room now. My food and water is intravenous.
Effie:
Well remind me to make you a chicken fried steak when all of this is over and done.
Zebulon:
Oh, that sounds lovely. One for me as well, dear.
Effie:
Libuza, we’re in a bit of a crisis, I hear.
Libuza:
I’ll start with the good news. Kazi and David are alive.
Effie:
Thank you, Lord.
Zebulon:
What’s happened to them, Libuza?
Libuza:
We had this problem. Every time we liberated another earth, Krok would fire an energy bombardment from the home world and try and kill us all. We kept losing ships, so they put a plan together to try and avoid the great big death ray by ducking into a warp tunnel at the last second, and maybe for a while he’d be convinced that he actually destroyed us.
Effie:
From the looks of things that didn’t go to plan.
Libuza:
Actually, it did. We’re pretty beat up but we only lost one ship... But it was Kazi’s ship. The flagship.
Zebulon:
And the ship where David performs his duties.
Effie:
Well, wherever they are let’s go and get them.
Libuza:
I’m afraid it’s complicated.
Zebulon:
Libuza, if there’s anything we’ve grown accustomed to, it is complexities.
Libuza:
Their ship is disabled and it has drifted into a nearby nebula, just outside the entrance to a warp tunnel.
Effie:
Well, let’s yoke up a mule and get out there.
Libuza:
That’s where the complexities come in. It’s a trap.
Effie:
Lovely.
Libuza:
Krok’s forces know her ship is there, and they’re waiting for someone to come save her.
Effie:
Well ain’t that a coward’s way of doing things.
Libuza:
If Kazi were here she would of course tell us not to take the risk.
Effie:
One moment.
effie opens the door and shouts down the hall.
Effie:
Kazi?
effie walks back inside.
Effie:
I don’t think she can hear us.
Zebulon:
Well, that’s decided.
Libuza:
The decision is one thing. How we do it is another... Krok’s forces are deliberately mindless. He likes them that way. But from time to time he’ll let a few of them develop their own style and personality. There’s someone waiting for us outside that nebula. He calls himself Vodnik. He’s taken several of our ships off the board already.
Effie:
How long do you reckon we have?
Libuza:
Not long. Her ship is badly damaged.
Effie:
If we come through that there tunnel guns blazing, we’re a cooked goose. We need a vehicle that’s small enough to miss.
Zebulon:
I know a ship that fits the bill.
Libuza:
Your ship is a search and rescue ship, it doesn’t have weapons.
Effie:
We’re searching and rescuing, ain’t we?
Libuza:
This is a terrible plan.
Effie:
Libuza, you’re right. It is a terrible plan.
Zebulon:
And yet...
Libuza:
And yet, I think it’s the right one.
Effie:
Then it’s decided.
Zebulon:
I’ll bridle up the horses.
Effie:
And where’s Teta in the middle of all this?
Libuza:
Teta is across the galaxy dealing with a particularly stubborn planet. She wouldn’t get here in time.
Effie:
How’s everybody else doing, Libuza? I don’t imagine losing Kazi has been a tranquil thought.
Libuza:
They are... on edge.
Effie:
Sounds like everyone needs to set themselves down for a talking to.
Libuza:
At least.
Effie:
Zebulon?
Zebulon:
Yes, of course.
Zebulon goes live throughout the fleet.
Zebulon:
Attention all ships at sea. Zebulon Mucklewain here. I imagine a good lot of us are feeling a certain way at the moment. Can’t imagine how you wouldn’t be. Effie and I have just arrived, and we are working hard to get the long and short of things. In the meantime, let’s not drift too quickly into the realm of imagination. All we know right now is all we know. For the next bit here, throughout the performance of your duties, let us all focus on what is and not what might be. If there’s something right in front of you that’s broke, do your darnedest to fix it. But let’s not imagine a great number of things that have been broken before we know what’s what. It’s a great gift, that imagination of yours. Let’s not turn gifts into curses.
Libuza:
Thank you... I can’t talk much longer, I have to stay focused on Krok. This will have to be the plan. How you get in and out will have to be decided by all of you.
Effie:
Let’s get to planning then.
Libuza:
What else can I do?
Zebulon:
Before we go, I had a notion.
Libuza:
A notion. Okay, what is it?
Zebulon:
Well, I’ve been steering our heavenly sled all over the skies for a bit of time now, and I’ve noticed something quite unusual about the particular waters we sail on. It appears that any old push or shove is enough to move even the largest of boats.
Libuza:
Yes, it’s space, there’s no gravity or wind resistance or anything.
Zebulon:
Yes. Well, I was thinking. These engines of ours, they make such a ruckus. Perhaps, if we’re to be tip-toeing our way into rescuing our compatriots, theres a way to do so more clandestinely.
Libuza:
Okay, how?
Zebulon:
Well, with the air we breathe, of course.
Libuza:
The air we breathe? You want to use oxygen as a thruster?
Zebulon:
Not to get up any speed, just to move port and starboard.
Libuza:
Well, you need oxygen to... you both don’t need oxygen to breathe.
Zebulon:
It’s true. In our current state, Effie and myself only need the comfort of each other. Not much else.
Libuza:
I see. So you want to... what? Fill up your ship with compressed air?
Zebulon:
Is such a thing possible?
Libuza:
Uh, I don’t know. I can talk to the engineering pit, see what they can do.
Zebulon:
Wonderful.
Libuza:
Good luck, you two.
Effie:
Libuza, you take care of yourself. I don’t like the pressure that’s been put on you.
Libuza:
You do your dangerous thing. I’ll do mine.
Effie:
Fair enough.
Effie walks out into the hallway. As she walks, Zebulon’s voice comes from various speakers nearby as they pass. Alarms are still going off in the ship and wounded are being carried through the halls.
Effie:
Zebulon, how’s our mighty steed looking?
Zebulon:
She’s almost watered and fed. Be ready for a hard ride right soon.
Effie:
Zebulon, I should’ve wrapped that boy up in a blanket and locked him in his room for the duration. Now look at him.
Zebulon:
David is his own man, dear. There’s only so much we can do.
Effie:
We made a promise, Zebulon. Promises are what the world’s made of. The walls come down without them.
Zebulon:
Which is precisely why we’ll bring him home, safe and sound.
Libuza:
There is something at the center of all of us. Call it what you like. Beliefs, modicums, tenets, rules. We see them as part of ourselves. And yet throughout our lives, how often is this unknown center of us--this core of who we are--how often is it tested? How often do we truly need to wrestle with it? So often, all we need to do is believe.
The signal had become two, then those two became beings, and those beings had a center. A center made of ideas. Right, wrong, mercy, forgiveness, beauty, and ugliness. With every step they took into their new life, the center was tested. And they approached each test without fear. “Let me be like the sword in the forge,” they would say. “With each ring of the hammer, let my substance become stronger.”
We move to the wrecked hull of Kazi’s ship. we hear the sound of destroyed circuit boards and smoking consoles. Cass wakes up suddenly.
Cass:
Hello?
David:
Cass?
Cass:
What happened?
David:
Looks like the fleet made it through... with one exception.
Cass:
We’re the exception, I’m assuming.
David:
Yep.
Cass:
Are you okay?
David:
I’m alright. How’re you doing?
Cass:
I’m conscious. That’s all I’ve got for you. Where is everyone else?
David:
They tried to make it for the escape pods. We stayed behind.
Cass:
Okay. I remember now.
Cass tries to move and realizes her leg is broken.
Cass:
Oh shit!
David:
What’s up?
Cass:
I think my leg is broken.
David:
Goddamn it. Stay put.
Cass:
Good idea.
David:
I’ll see if I can find a first aid kit or something.
Cass:
Okay... where’s Kazi?
David:
...
Cass:
David?
David:
She’s... here.
Cass:
... Is she gone?
David:
... I’m afraid so.
Cass:
... Shit... then we really are screwed aren’t we?
David:
We’re alive. That’s all I can tell you right now.
Cass:
Fuck.
David:
...
Cass:
Well, this was short lived.
David:
What was?
Cass:
My adventures in space. Now here I am about to die.
Kazi:
Oh ye of little faith.
David:
Oh shit.
Cass:
Is she okay?
David:
Kazi?
Kazi:
I’m alright. Just don’t touch me.
David:
Kazi, you’re not looking great. How the hell did you survive that?
Kazi:
It’s what I do. What’s the status of Major Williams?
Cass:
I’m okay.
David:
She’s got a broken leg.
Kazi:
Alright. I’m not going to be able to walk for some time, so it’s best that the two of you be ambulatory.
Cass:
That would be great.
Kazi:
You’ll need to move her closer to me.
David:
Her leg’s looking pretty bad.
Kazi:
Which bone?
David:
Upper one. Femur?
Kazi:
Yes. Clean brake?
David:
Looks like it.
Cass:
Please stop describing my broken leg.
Kazi:
David, I taught you how to set a bone. Do you remember?
David:
Sadly, I do.
Kazi:
You’ll need to set the bone, and drag her over to me.
Cass:
Oh shit.
David:
We don’t have a robot doctor or something?
Kazi:
This will be faster.
David:
Shit. You hear that, Cass?
Cass:
Yes, and I really hate it.
David:
Sorry. Kazi have you got a bottle of tequila around here?
Kazi:
I don’t.
David:
Hard way it is then.
david walks over to Cass’ body.
David:
Hello there. My name’s David, I’ll be your doctor.
Cass:
Fuck you, doctor.
David:
Are you ready?
Cass:
David are you married?
David:
I’m not.
Cass:
Okay. We’re going to have to get married after this, because the “how we met” story is going to be too good to pass up.
David:
Cass, I’m a gay man, but I’d marry Abe fucking Vigoda to get us out of this mess.
Cass:
That’s the spirit.
David:
You want something to bite down on?
Cass:
I’m biting down pretty hard on my pride, that should do the trick.
David:
Okay. Here we go. 3... 2... 1...
we move to the Mucklewains’ ship as it moves through a warp tunnel.
Libuza:
At a certain point in their travels, the two began to be regarded as antiquated. The lives they had chosen were considered by some to be out of date--personas that belonged in a time gone by. Some saw them a simple or even naive. They worshipped old gods, and made life long promises to each other when they were hardly past childhood. In the worlds they often found themselves in, people saw such things as foolish or childish. They paid no mind to any of it. So many ideas fall in and out of favor as the ages rise and fall. Through all of it, there was something within them that kept them hewn to their promises. Despite the complexities of infinite worlds, there was something within them that found comfort in a simple thing, and how hard that simple thing can be. An idea as simple as taking someone by the hand and saying unto them, “Change all you wish, my hand will still hold yours.”
Zebulon:
... You know dear, traveling through these tunnels reminds me a bit of Jasper Waymouth ( WAY-muth).
Effie:
Jasper Waymouth?
Zebulon:
Yes.
Effie:
Jasper Waymouth was a bootlegger, dear.
Zebulon:
Yes he was. No one knows the back roads like a bootlegger.
Effie:
Yes, I don’t believe he’d taken a state road in his life, that one.
Zebulon:
I recall he claimed that he’d found the fastest route from Fort Smith to Branson.
Effie:
Oh yes, I remember... What was that he called folks after he’d tipped a bottle of two?
Zebulon:
“Boon Companion.”
Effie:
That’s the one. “My boon companions,” he would say, “I have unearthed a golden road twixt Arkansas and Missouri, and nary a constable upon it.” Only man I knew who’s speech got sharper as the bottle got lower.
Zebulon:
A surprising passion for shortcuts, that Jasper.
Effie:
Anyone ever suss out if he was speaking the truth or not?
Zebulon:
Yes, turns out it wasn’t a shortcut at all, but rather he’d found himself in Eureka Springs and only thought he was in Missouri.
Effie:
... He thought Eureka Springs was in Missouri?
Zebulon:
Didn’t even know he was in Eureka Springs.
Effie:
Zebulon, there is a big old sign outside of that town saying “Welcome to Eureka Springs.”
Zebulon:
And if you take the back roads, as Jasper does...
Effie:
... You miss the sign entirely.
Zebulon:
You do. A good argument for taking the road well traveled.
Effie:
Jasper set himself down a good twenty miles from the border and said to himself “Here I am. Missouri.”
Zebulon:
He was only twenty miles away, in his defense.
Effie:
Lord... our people.
Zebulon:
We’re a special bunch.
Effie:
... We’re out here in the great beyond and it made you think of Jasper Waymouth.
Zebulon:
Funny that. I bet old Jasper would’ve found another path for us in our current predicament.
Effie:
Sometimes there ain’t no shortcuts, dear.
Zebulon:
Speaking on that... We’re coming up on it.
Effie:
Alright. Now what was this idea of yourn?
Zebulon:
Well, first I’ll tamp down the noise of these engines.
Zebulon powers down the engines.
Effie:
We’re going to need those for flying this contraption, dear.
Zebulon:
Libuza has done us a service and given us a surplus of good old fashioned breathing air. I’ll use that to move us hither and yon from here on out. Like Odysseus on the sea, I shall loose the strings on my gunny and unleash the western winds.
Effie:
You’re getting dangerously close to me calling you a wind bag, dear.
Zebulon:
Away we go.
The ship exits the warp tunnel.
Effie:
Where are we meant to look?
Zebulon:
Libuza told me they would be there, in that great red cloud. They drifted into that mess. We’re approaching it now.
Effie:
... Of course, if there were to be an attack, it would happen right about now.
Zebulon:
... Secure yourself to your seat, dear.
Effie:
I shall.
Zebulon:
...
Effie:
...
Zebulon:
Almost there.
After a few moments of silence, their ship begins to become bombarded by explosions.
Effie:
Aw, hell!
Zebulon:
Trap confirmed, dear!
Effie:
I noticed!
Zebulon:
Just a few more moments!
Effie:
If we’ve got them to spare!
Their ship flies into the nebula and the bombardment stops.
Zebulon:
... We’re safe, dear.
Effie:
And about as blind as your grandma.
Zebulon:
We’ll hide here and figure our next move.
Effie:
Whoever this miscreant is, at least he’s doing what we expect him to.
A voice comes CRACKLING through the comms panel.
Vodnik:
Welcome all to my little corner of the galaxy. My name is Vodnik and I shall be your executioner today. How shall we do it? Slowly or quickly? They both have their merits.
Zebulon:
We appear to have met our adversary.
Vodnik:
Do you know what I love about this little trap of mine? It’s nothing new. You leave an injured one crying for help while the others are lured in by their screaming. It’s a trap that doesn’t disguise itself. It plainly says to you, “I am a trap.” And yet it lures them in regardless. No deception on it’s face, but it is deceptive in other ways. Every trap has its bait to lure you in, but believe it or not, my new friends, the bait of this trap is not your imperiled friends. The bait is hope. You see the trap plainly, but it’s hope that draws you in. You hope against hope that you’ll be the one to outsmart the trap. So, I ask again, what shall it be? Slowly or quickly?
Effie:
And he appears to be a talker.
Vodnik:
Why hide in the nebula, my friends? Come out. Come out and see me.
Effie:
I’d express my frustration, but we knew what we were getting into when we shoved off.
Kazi:
(Through the comms panel.) Effie.
Effie:
Well, if it ain’t our damsel in distress.
Kazi:
What the fuck are you doing here?
Effie:
Now now, Kazi don’t overwhelm us with gratitude.
Kazi:
You’ve flown right into a trap.
Effie:
Kazi, do I look like a tree stump to you? We’re quite aware of what we’ve flown into.
Kazi:
Then you should’ve stayed with the fleet.
Effie:
Well I’m going to have to draft that apology to you a bit later on, Kazi. For the time being, we’re trying to figure how we get all your butts out of the mud you’re stuck in. What’s your status?
Kazi:
We have life support, but that’s about it.
Effie:
And David?
David:
(Through the comms panel.) I’m just peachy, thanks.
Kazi:
Most of them made it to escape pods. I imagine they’ve all been captured now. It’s just myself, David, and Major Williams.
David:
Cass, say hello to the Mucklewains.
Cass:
(Through the comms panel.) The who?
Effie:
Sit tight. We’ll track you down in all this mess.
Kazi:
You’ve risked yourselves for three people, Effie.
Effie:
And?
Vodnik:
My new friends, I have within me one act of kindness. I shall, this once, offer you surrender. Give yourselves up to me now, and there will be no need for any more games. You are, no doubt, floating around in that nebula, wondering what to do next. Signal your surrender and emerge from the nebula, and I promise you’ll not be harmed.
Effie:
Now, why do I think he may be lying to us?
Zebulon:
I’ll not put it past him.
Effie:
And not to add to our grocery list, but I find him so intolerable that I feel the need to defeat him entirely.
Zebulon:
Would be a nice cap to put on the day. I have my eyes on Kazi’s ship, such as it is.
Effie:
Let’s have a look... Hoo wee. Kazi, your ship’s looking like a grouse after Thanksgiving.
Kazi:
I don’t know what that means, Effie.
Zebulon:
Very little meat on the bone.
Kazi:
Zebulon, our docking port isn’t responding. There’s no way to get us off the ship.
Effie:
That sounds like a failure of the imagination, Kazi.
Kazi:
I suppose you could try and activate it from the outside of the ship.
Effie:
Alright then.
Kazi:
But if Vodnik sends another bombardment you could get flung out into space.
Effie:
Zebulon, I don’t imagine our adversary will talk and shoot at the same time, do you?
Zebulon:
Perhaps, we’ll have a bit of a chat.
Effie:
Sounds like a hoot, dear. I’m going to get myself a little fresh air.
Zebulon:
Good for the constitution.
Effie:
Amen.
Effie leaves the bridge and heads toward the middle of the ship.
Effie:
Well, here we are again, Lord, just you and I. I’m about to fling myself into the darkness, all for your glory.
Effie opens the airlock and steps in.
Effie:
I’m thinking to myself right now, Lord, about all your disciples and what you’ve asked of them. And not to admire the shine on my own shoes, but I must be rising in the ranks right quick.
An alarm begins to go off in the airlock.
Effie:
Any words of thanks, Lord? Pat on the shoulder for your servant?... Well, why start now?
The airlock opens. Effie gets a running start and jumps.
Libuza:
Every once and a while she would look back. In moments like these, hurtling through the empty void between two ships, she would think about what she’s become. Before this, she was a married woman on a farm. Before that, a little girl in a field. Before that, a signal. Before that, nothing. “I once was nothing, one day I will return to nothing. But for now, I will be this. A steel frame sailing through the darkness, trying to keep the spark of life from being extinguished.”
We move to Inside kazi’s ship. Cass is rising to her feet.
Cass:
Wow. It’s still pretty painful, but I can walk. What did you give me?
Kazi:
Nanites.
Cass:
I’m sorry?
Kazi:
Microscopic robots. They’re sewing your femur back together as we speak.
Cass:
They’re inside me.
Kazi:
Yes.
Cass:
... I don’t know how to feel about that.
Kazi:
Consider the alternative.
David:
What’s Effie up to exactly?
Kazi:
Effie has made the elegant choice to fling herself at the ship.
We hear the sound of effie slamming into the hull of the ship.
Effie:
(Outside the ship.) Gol durn!
Kazi:
Wonder if that’s her.
David:
What is she doing?
Kazi:
Making a mistake.
Effie:
(In the comms panel.) Kazi, where’s the back door on this thing?
Kazi:
Look for flashing lights. David, go up to the docking port and turn on the landing lights please.
David:
Alright, I’m on it.
Kazi:
Move quickly. If we take another bombardment, she’ll be thrown from the hull.
Effie:
Don’t worry too much about that, Kazi. Zebulon’s going to try talking him to death.
Kazi:
Of course.
Back on the mucklewain’s ship.
Vodnik:
So, we’ve chosen the waiting game, have we? Ah, well. It’s an uninteresting game, but one that’s rarely avoided. Not a bad ingredient to add to the mix, I suppose. You’ll stew there in your anxiety for a while until you frantically do something foolish, and then there I’ll be.
Zebulon:
I realize we just met, but may I make an observation?
Vodnik:
... Careful now. The more you communicate with me, the more I’ll be able to triangulate your position.
Zebulon:
I’d say that’s a small price to pay for getting to know someone. And now that I think on it, isn't that always the way with our interactions? The more you speak to one, the closer they get to you. Seems natural to me.
Vodnik:
Who am I speaking with?
Zebulon:
Forgive me. In these unconventional environs, I've forgotten to begin our conversation conventionally. I'm Zebulon Mucklewain. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Vodnik:
Ahh, The Pastor. I have heard about you.
Zebulon:
Well, my goodness, I don't believe I've ever been in a situation where my reputation has preceded me.
Vodnik:
I find that hard to believe. I hear you disabled an entire Vesna from the inside out. You're rumored to have magical powers.
Zebulon:
I don't know much about that. Rumors tend to have magical powers all on their own, don't they? I knew a man once named Fritz William Weaver. Had developed for himself a reputation for being able to speak to catfish. Now all he was really doing was saying a particular word any time he tossed bread crumbs into the river, and after a while, the fish learned to respond to that word. But once that rumor mill got started, it seemed as though Fritz William Weaver was sitting there on the edge of the river bank having long drawn-out conversations with catfish about the news of the day.
Vodnik:
I'm afraid all that modesty won't dissuade me, Pastor. I had no idea I’d ensnared such a catch.
Zebulon:
Well now, I'm certainly no expert on the way things work way out here in the nothingness. But I don't think one should brag about catching a thing before that thing has been caught.
Vodnik:
So, you're still holding out hope in there, are you?
Zebulon:
I'm afraid hopefulness is another thing I have a reputation for.
Vodnik:
"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." Is that what you’d say?
Zebulon:
Well, look at that. Words of scripture all the way out here. Never thought I'd hear it.
Vodnik:
It’s important to know your enemy.
Zebulon:
My friend, if you've read through that entire book and yet still you wait out there to ensnare us in this deadly trap of yours, it doesn't seem to me that you've come to know a darn thing.
Vodnik:
Ha! What do you say we end this now, Pastor? You know you've no way out.
Zebulon:
The thing that's curious to me is you seem to be putting all of this in my backyard. Surely if you've the upper hand, you're the one who could put an end to all these machinations any time. Yet still, I sit here, inside this cloud, with you out there. If it's to be ended so easily, why not end it?
Vodnik:
Are you trying to turn my trap into a trap, Pastor?
Zebulon:
Not sure how I could, even if I wanted to. You've seen our vessel. We carry no weapons. You're quite the lazy hunter if you expect the stag to trot right up to your doorstep. Surely you'll need to put a little effort in.
Vodnik:
I see. So, what is it then? You've laced the nebula with magnetic charges, waiting for me to wade in and destroy myself?
Zebulon:
I suppose someone more shrewd than I can do something like that, but as I understand it, there aboard your ship, you have many of our people as your prisoners. If I were to attack you, surely I attack them.
Vodnik:
Perhaps you see them as expendable?
Zebulon:
Could be. But we've just risked life and limb coming here to save the precious few that you haven't captured. Does that sound like someone who sees human life as expendable?
Vodnik:
Hm. What could it be, then? How do you plan to undo me?
Zebulon:
On the other end of things, I could just be stalling for time. I dare you to do a thing you wouldn't possibly do, in the hopes that you'll wait. And wait long enough for us to marshal our forces and send them through to defeat you. Could be that as well.
Vodnik:
You're trying to convince me that I'm damned either way.
Zebulon:
You know, my friend, I must admit, I've never been capable of deception. Perhaps I merely feel that the only way to truly know a man is to be on a level playing field with him, eye to eye, across the table. As it should be... Come on in and see me, why don’t you? I'm so curious to hear about your journey through the scripture.
Vodnik:
(To his crew.) ... Set course for the nebula. Let’s get to know our new friend.
Back on kazi’s ship, cass is now limping back and forth.
Cass:
Okay. Okay, I can walk.
Kazi:
Good, we’ll be on the move soon.
Cass:
If you don’t mind me asking. How are you alive, Ma’am?
Kazi:
Several reasons. My race are bio-engineers who make several changes to their body in order to survive our planet. It makes me rather hard to kill.
Cass:
Well, whatever you did to yourself, you did a great job.
Kazi:
Thank you. You’re doing well yourself.
Cass:
So far all I’ve done is get my leg broken.
Kazi:
You haven’t lost your head. That’s important.
Cass:
Yeah... This is... not the space that NASA sold to me.
Kazi:
I’m sure you were told many stories about the wonder of exploration when you signed up to be an astronaut. I’m sure they were beautiful and benevolent stories. But I’m afraid it’s not quite like that out here. I’m afraid you’ve stepped into a bit of a mess.
Cass:
Yes, I have picked up on the “mess” part of it.
Kazi:
I’m sure.
Cass:
Especially the part about you being at war with your dad.
Kazi:
Yes.
Cass:
Which is really the definition of “messy.”
Kazi:
It’s not ideal. Sadly, you don’t get to pick who you’re at war with.
Cass:
... I am... I am on the side of the good guys, right? I suppose I should’ve asked this earlier.
Kazi:
We’re the good guys, Major. This entire galaxy has been enslaved. We’ll go planet to planet freeing them, or die in the process.
Cass:
Okay, I can get behind that... I’m sure I’ll get used to all of this somehow.
Kazi:
Let’s see what happens when the robot shows up.
Cass:
Excuse me?
Kazi and david enter the bridge.
Effie:
Howdy-do, soldiers of the righteous. How goes the war?
Cass:
Jesus Christ.
Effie:
Kazi, you’ve looked better.
Kazi:
Thank you.
Effie:
You’re looking like that looney toons duck that just got hit with the steam roller.
Kazi:
A reference I understand would be appreciated, Effie.
David:
We need to move it. Apparently Zebulon has invited the enemy ship into the nebula and they are looking for us.
Kazi:
Why did he do that?
Effie:
It’s all part of his plan.
Kazi:
What is his plan?
Effie:
I’m sure I don’t know.
Kazi:
I’m still not ambulatory.
Effie:
Then, my lady, I shall carry thee to thine bedsit.
Kazi:
This is miserable.
Effie:
Up you come.
Effie picks up kazi.
Effie:
Let’s get a move on, y’all.
Cass:
David. Why is the robot from the south?
David:
I don’t know. Why is anybody?
We move to the bridge of the Mucklewain’s ship. Zebulon plays cat and mouse with vodnik.
Vodnik:
Alright my friend, I have accepted your invitation. Let’s see how long it takes for me to find you in all this red mist.
Zebulon:
I wish you the best of luck. Though I'm not sure how anyone finds anything in one of these places.
Vodnik:
As I'm sure you know, I'll be looking for your thruster plumes. As soon as you use any of your engines, I'm going to see you. I hope you didn’t have any plans to escape now that I’m in here with you.
Zebulon:
Well now, why would I go through all the trouble of inviting you into these environs and then up and leave? That’s no way to treat a new friend.
As zebulon talks we can hear the ship constantly changing position using the compressed air.
Vodnik:
I must say, this is the most cordial battle I’ve ever participated in.
Zebulon:
Hardly a battle, my friend. I have no weapons to use against you.
Vodnik:
Yes. But you do strike me as the creative type. One who thinks he can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Zebulon:
At the risk of injuring my modesty, I will admit to emerging from a closet full of knives unscathed from time to time.
Vodnik:
What's that story of yours? Daniel in the lion's den?
Zebulon:
Ah, yes, that's a good one.
Vodnik:
Is that how you plan on getting out of this? You're going to rely on the beneficence of your god?
Zebulon:
He's given me so much already, this god of mine. Hard to ask him for more. So often we ask for gifts without looking around at what we already have. Take Daniel for example. I've always seen him as a man who was very well versed in how not to look like dinner. It's predator and prey, you see. So much of it is how we see ourselves. How we see the other. I'm sure you're seeing yourself as the lion, stalking amongst the tall grass, waiting for someone to make a mistake. What happens to that outlook, do you think, when I just call you my friend?
Vodnik:
If I'm your idea of a friend, you have some truly terrible friends.
Zebulon:
I see all people as my friends. Chance and circumstance may separate us. But I will always hope for a day when we all sit down at a great table together as friends.
Vodnik:
I'd be happy to set a table for you here on my ship.
Zebulon:
Believe me or don't, but I do hope for that day. Until then, chance and circumstance.
cass walks on to the bridge.
Cass:
Hello?
Zebulon:
Hello, there.
Cass:
... Hi. Kazi told me to come to the bridge. She said you may need some help.
Zebulon:
Well, that's a wonderful sentiment. I'm Zebulon Mucklewain.
Cass:
I’m Cass. Thanks for the rescue.
Zebulon:
I'm glad we could reach you in time.
Cass:
Did you reach us in time? Seems like we're still in a pretty bad situation.
Zebulon:
Improved greatly by your presence, I'm sure.
Cass:
I guess. I’m not much of a pilot. I’m a communications specialist.
Zebulon:
I'm sure that'll be all sorts of help. Have a seat anywhere you like. Tell me whatever you can.
Cass:
Sure, okay... Uh, it looks like he’s shut off his engines.
Zebulon:
I see. Why would he do something like that?
Cass:
As soon as he cut them off, it reduced the EM background noise. Maybe with his engines off he can listen a little more closely for us.
Zebulon:
Lying in the tall grass, waiting for prey.
Cass:
Sure. Also if you want to keep talking to him, you’re going to need to keep moving. The more you talk, the more he’ll be able to triangulate your position.
Zebulon:
All sound advice, Cass.
Cass:
But if you move he’ll be able to see your engines, just like we could see his.
Zebulon:
I thought that might be the case. We’re making our way through this land of clouds using other means.
Zebulon moves the ship.
Cass:
What is that? Compressed air?
Zebulon:
It is. Makes me feel right at home making our way like this. I feel as though I’m steering an old catamaran.
Libuza:
Despite the ever changing world around them, they were often struck by something curious. That no matter the time or place, or the swirling complexities of the worlds they would visit, there was a thread of something simple in all of it. No matter where they would go, there was a sameness to it all. Some things never changed. The most primordial things. Love and kindness, loneliness and community. The things most desired seemed intrinsic. Of course, just to be coy, every new world tried to hide its commonalities. But they only saw such attempts as a child, in an ill-fitting costume, trying with all its heart to act like something other than itself.
Down in the ship, david tries to activate the Medical station.
David:
Here, put this on your arm.
Kazi:
Don’t bother. The medical stations don’t work on me.
David:
Why not?
Kazi:
You need a biological preset for them to work. My biology is too chaotic. I’ll be fine, I just need more time.
Effie:
I suppose that’s what you get for making yourself such a complicated creature.
Kazi:
You’re saying this to me as an anachronistic Earthling, speaking from a robot that you have inexplicably possessed.
Effie:
Well, she’s got me on that one, doesn’t she?
Kazi:
Effie, how does Zebulon plan to get us out of this?
Effie:
I suppose he’ll start by asking nicely.
Kazi:
And when that predictably doesn’t work?
Effie:
You don’t know. Politeness can get you real far if you do it right.
Kazi:
You’ve really come all this way without a plan of any kind?
Effie:
Don’t turn up your nose so quick. We’ve gotten this far haven’t we?
Kazi:
You were supposed to get this far, Effie, that’s how traps work. They should be easy to get into.
Effie:
In a situation such as this, when you’re walking into a trap, all one can hang their hat on is the incompetence of the trapper and the wiliness of the trapee.
David:
This guy does not seem incompetent.
Effie:
Never underestimate a smart man’s ability to be as thick as a post, David.
David:
Jesus Christ, would you two stop talking in southern fortune cookies.
Effie:
David, I have limited you to exactly one blasphemation per day, I’ll remind you.
David:
Oh my God.
Effie:
That’s two.
Kazi:
You should consider negotiating with him. Offer me as compromise, you can load me into an escape pod and perhaps he’ll let the rest of you go.
Effie:
Seems to me this here Vodnik is pretty convinced he can scoop all of us up in one fell swoop. Why compromise now?
Kazi:
I suppose you're right. We may have to try and make it hurt. Load ourselves into escape pods, use the ship as a battering ram.
David:
And what are the chances that'll work?
Kazi:
What are the chances any of this will work?
Effie:
Kazi, can you not have a little more faith in me and my husband?
Kazi:
Faith is not a strategy.
Effie:
Well, then allow me to transform this conversation from one where I’m asking you something, to one where I’m telling you something. You sit yourself there and sew up that body of yourn, and Zebulon and myself will take it from here.
Cass has entered the mid ship.
Cass:
Excuse me?
Kazi:
What is it, Major?
Cass:
Zebulon needs everyone to put on oxygen masks.
Kazi:
What? Why?
Cass:
He’s been propelling the ship using compressed oxygen. If this keeps up, we may run out soon.
Kazi:
You’re kidding me.
Effie:
All part of the plan, I’m sure.
Back on the bridge.
Vodnik:
Are we all done with our conversation? Is it time to come out of hiding, Zebulon?
Zebulon:
Have you got your fancy hat on, Cass?
Cass:
(Now wearing an oxygen mask.) My fancy hat? Sure, I think I have this on right. If I pass out, I guess I’ll know.
Zebulon:
Very good.
Cass:
We’ve been skirting pretty close to his ship, shouldn’t we back off a little?
Zebulon:
No, I think we should get right up close to him. You never check right under your nose. Forest for the trees and all that.
Cass:
Okay.
Cass detects something on her screen.
Zebulon:
What’s that he’s doing?
Cass:
He’s launching probes into the nebula.
Zebulon:
See there. Right under his nose.
Vodnik:
Alright my friend, if it’s going to be a while, I’ve more questions about that book of yours.
Zebulon:
I’m happy to hear them.
Vodnik:
Your man, Abraham.
Zebulon:
I know him well.
Vodnik:
What’s all this business about his son? Your god says to him, bring your son up to the altar and sacrifice him in my name. Prove yourself to me. I’m getting that right?
Zebulon:
You are.
Vodnik:
Then, at the altar, Abraham stands there prepared to sacrifice his own son to this god of yours, and then suddenly your god what? Changes his mind? Says to him, on second thought, Abraham. Never mind. What’s that about?
Zebulon:
Confounding isn’t it?
Vodnik:
In my neck of the woods, that’s called psychological torture.
Zebulon:
And those thoughts are not unheard by me. There’s many a confounding twist in those pages, ones that I still wrestle with to this day. I will say this, though. It may surprise you to hear, but despite my genial nature I can be a bit roguish in my interpretations.
Vodnik:
You scoundrel.
Zebulon:
In thinking of the story of Abraham and his son, you may find insight when casting your mind way back--all the way back to the beginning. In those dark beginnings of our people, I'm ashamed to say that acts such as bringing your child to the altar and sacrificing their life in the name of your God, well, it was almost commonplace. Hard to think of it now. What do we defend more now than our children? And yet, in that primordial time, they were seen as fodder for a dark and vengeful god. I shudder to think on it. So then, when Abraham is asked by his God to sacrifice his son's life, for Abraham this was not a new notion. It was not surprising. It was a tragedy, but not surprising. So then, when Abraham raised up his knife and God stayed his hand, it was God's way of saying to Abraham: Everything was thus, but now it is this. Lay down your trappings of the world before and step forth into the new one.
Vodnik:
Could he not have just told Abraham that?
Zebulon:
Yes, my friend, he could have. Which is why I wrestle with it so.
Cass:
Oxygen reserves at ten percent.
Zebulon:
... Where are you from, Cass?
Cass:
Where am I from? Uh. Colorado.
Zebulon:
Ah. The Rocky Mountains.
Cass:
That’s where they are, yes.
Zebulon:
How’d you get so far from home?
Cass:
I, uh... I really don’t know. My father was a pilot. I knew how to fly by the time I was twelve... When I turned eighteen, he got me my own single engine... I climbed inside and never went home again.
Zebulon:
Mm. A cherished skill... to know to get out when the getting’s good.
Cass:
What are we talking about right now?
Zebulon:
My friend... I’m afraid it’s time for me to leave you.
Cass:
What?
Vodnik:
Leave me? But I’m enjoying our conversations so much.
Zebulon:
And I do hope that one day we can resume them. One day, after all of this is over.
Vodnik:
I see... so you’ve decided to make a break for it, have you?
Zebulon:
I believe our welcome has been thoroughly worn out.
Vodnik:
I knew you couldn’t hide from me forever.
Cass:
What are we doing?
Zebulon:
I'd like you to remember what I said. That all men are my friend. It's only chance and circumstance that keeps me from that friendship.
Vodnik:
As soon as you fire your engines and head for that warp tunnel, I’m going to blow you out of the sky.
Zebulon:
Yes, circumstances such as that.
Vodnik:
Well, I must say, after all that, I was hoping for a more complicated plan than just making a run for it.
Zebulon:
I’m a simple man. Never been much for complicated schemes. Let’s let the fates decide shall we?
Vodnik:
As you wish... Goodbye, Zebulon. It’s been very entertaining.
Cass:
We’re exiting the nebula.
Kazi:
(In the comms panel.) Zebulon, what are you doing?
Zebulon:
Let’s stop with the sneaking about, shall we? Let’s hear those noisy engines again.
We hear the engines fire on the mucklewain’s ship.
Kazi:
Zebulon!
Vodnik:
There you are, my friend. I promise to make it quick. (To his crew.) Target the ship and fire.
David:
(In the comms panel.) Zebulon, he’s going to light us up!
Vodnik:
Fire, dammit! Fire!... What are you doing?... Well, fire the engines then... What?... Safety lock?!... How!?!...
Cass:
What’s happening?
Zebulon:
I’m sure I don’t know.
Vodnik:
What the hell did you do? What did you do to my ship?!
Zebulon:
Twas aways thus, my friend. But now it is this. Let’s head for home, y’all.
Vodnik:
Zebuloooooon!!
Libuza:
Every once and a while, a look back. In moments like these, in a small vessel in an infinite ocean, trying to keep the spark of life from being extinguished. Before this, a farmer. Before that, a child. Before that, a signal. Before that, nothing. “I once was nothing, and one day I will return to nothing. But for now I will be this. And I will call that a life.”
We move to kazi’s ready room. The door slides open and Kazi comes limping into the room, still wincing from her injuries. She sits down and the door buzzes.
Kazi:
Come in.
The door slides open. cass and David walk in. David has balloons.
Cass:
Good morning, Ma’am.
David:
I brought you balloons.
Kazi:
Why?
David:
Because it’s your first day back.
Kazi:
That doesn’t answer my question.
Cass:
He thought it would be funny.
Kazi:
That answers my question. Major Williams, how have you been?
Cass:
I’ve been well, ma’am. How has your recuperation been going?
Kazi:
I’m at about 70%. Good enough to resume my duties, I think.
Cass:
Welcome back.
Kazi:
How have things been?
David:
Cass has finally met Teta.
Cass:
Yes, she... she has horns.
Kazi:
Yes. She’s an acquired taste, but an essential one. What else?
David:
We’ve perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge energy bombardments from the home world without losing any ships.
Kazi:
Good. What else?
Cass:
...
Kazi:
What is it?
David:
Go ahead.
Cass:
... I keep thinking about that day in the nebula.
Kazi:
Yes?
Cass:
We should’ve died, Ma’am.
Kazi:
You think?
Cass:
Vodnik’s ship... it just... it suddenly stopped working right when we needed it to.
Kazi:
Yes, it did.
Cass:
I... maybe it’s because of the way the Mucklewains talk but... it felt like a miracle.
Kazi:
Hm. Did it?
Cass:
Yes.
Kazi:
... Earthlings have an interesting relationship with the unknown.
Cass:
Do we?
Kazi:
You see something you can’t explain, and you fill that void with the simplest thing you can find.
Cass:
I don’t understand.
Kazi:
Once you spend enough time out here, you’ll come to understand some things. Things like safety locks. They’re on all ships in one form or another.
David:
If the environment is too volatile, you won’t be able to fire your engines or your weapons until the volatility is gone.
Cass:
Vodnik bombarded the nebula before he entered it. He used his engines to enter it, it wasn’t a volatile environment.
Kazi:
Zebulon did some strange things in that nebula, didn’t he?
Cass:
Yes.
Kazi:
Flew very close to the enemy ship, always flying rings around it.
Cass:
Yes.
Kazi:
What did he propel the ship with?
Cass:
Oxygen.
Kazi:
What color was the nebula?
Cass:
Red.
David:
Another thing you’ll come to know, once you’re out here enough: The red nebulae are made of hydrogen.
Cass:
Okay.
Kazi:
Those rockets on your home planet. The ones you use to get to orbit. What are they fueled with?
Cass:
... A combination of hydrogen and oxygen.
Kazi:
That’s right.
Cass:
... He was wrapping the enemy ship in volatile rocket fuel.
Kazi:
If Vodnik had been able to fire his weapons, he would’ve destroyed himself and everything else for thousands of kilometers.
David:
So shady.
Cass:
... Why didn’t Zebulon just say that?
Kazi:
Yes... There are many things I don’t understand about this universe. One of the most confounding things? Effie and Zebulon Mucklewain... I don’t think Zebulon even knew what he was doing in that nebula... or maybe he did. I don’t know... What I do know, is that we’re fighting a war. And I’m glad they’re on our side.
Cass:
... This is a fucked up assignment, Ma’am.
Kazi:
Yes. And it will get stranger from here. But all this strangeness will be nothing compared to the strange thing that follows it.
Cass:
What’s that?
David:
... Peace.
Cass:
I’ll take that strangeness anytime.
Kazi:
I as well... Is there anything else? I should get caught up.
Cass:
No. Oh, there is one thing.
Kazi:
Yes?
Cass:
It’s probably nothing, but, the last bombardment from the home world appeared to have a carrier wave on it.
Kazi:
A carrier wave?
Cass:
It sounds like noise to me, but I thought I’d let you know. It wasn’t there in other bombardments.
Kazi:
Where is it?
Cass:
In your debrief package.
Kazi:
I’ll take a look.
Cass:
Okay. Welcome back, again.
Kazi:
Thank you, Major.
David:
Kazi? Karaoke in the mess hall tonight. You going to be there? I’m thinking Joan Jett for you.
Kazi:
No thank you, David.
David:
Wait... Alanis.
Kazi:
Goodbye, David.
they exit. Kazi brings up the copy of the carrier wave and plays it. It sounds like garbled noise.
Kazi:
That’s not a carrier wave.
Kazi presses several buttons, decrypting the signal. Slowly all the noise is removed. She presses play.
Ava:
(In the audio file.) Is this thing on?
Kazi:
Ava?
Ava:
Kazi, listen closely... it’s all bullshit.
The end.