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Verge:
I slew a gigantic hell beast in their parking lot last night, I don’t think I’d be able to explain that away.
Eldin:
And your usual modus operandi would be to pack up immediately and head for one of many hiding spots, wouldn’t it?
Eldin:
So I’m sure you can imagine how attracting attention on this planet is in conflict with that directive.
Eldin:
I’m sorry I’d love to continue this conversation but I need to, real quick, tally up the list of bounties you have on your head.
Eldin:
We agreed that coming here would require keeping a low profile, now you’re spilling the beans with the local proprietors and beginning some sort of mating ritual with one of the local idiots.
Verge:
Frank, I get the sense that if I start this conversation you’re going to want to take control of it as soon as possible so why don’t you go ahead and start?
Frank:
... Okay... What I witnessed last night, what we witnessed was you brandishing, what could only be described as, a ray-gun.
Verge:
I think you could find a few more ways to describe it, but yes. That is what you witnessed. And what I witnessed last night was a monstrous dog. That I killed. And when I killed it, it exploded into a dozen smaller dogs.
Verge:
Okay. Afterwards I did some looking into it, and one big dog exploding into twenty one smaller dogs is NOT a common occurrence on this planet.
Frank:
Yes, and I can tell you from experience, whatever Buck Rodgers nonsense you performed last night is also not a common occurrence on this... on this planet, you said “on this planet.”
Verge:
... I heard about this Earthling. Enrico Fermi. He had some theory about life on other planets. He said, if there are so many habitable planets out there, well then where is everybody?... Hi.
Frank:
... It’s never been the most normal town in the world but... A few days ago a.... A diner showed up in our parking lot.
Frank:
I know, it sounds ridiculous... ever since then, things have been getting a little weird here in town.
Frank:
... The diner, they warned us that things were going to get weird here. Something about damage to the fabric of space/time.
Verge:
Actually Vapians look really similar to Earthlings aside from two very key details. The Earthsuit hides those two things. Everything else is me.
Frank:
Okay, I’m going to go ahead and put a stop this conversation because... because what the fuck... Verge, thank you for what you did last night, I’m pretty sure we’d be dead if you hadn’t have...
Frank:
You’re welcome here as long as you want okay? Just... if you’re going to plant eggs in someone’s throat or something we would like a heads up.
Frank climbs the stairs and opens the door to the roof. We hear the squeaking of Trinkett’s old telescope.
Trinkett:
I’m adjusting it right now because I won’t be able to see the coordinates on this piece of paper later tonight.
Trinkett:
I know we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, Frank, so let me clear it up for you. A man from another time and a cow-sized dog? I think I’d categorize those things as strange.
Trinkett:
Frank. Was there a time-traveling bandit, disappearing dogs, and a huge monster in your parking lot?
Trinkett:
... Okay. Like I was saying, I was in Cairo, New York. I was there because I was working on a book. It’s a book about forests and the power that they hold. In Cairo, New York is fossilized evidence of the oldest forest in the history of the world. I was trying to get in touch with all of that, trying to commune with an ancient place to get a sense of its power. Things hide in forests. Not just spirits and entities but also ideas. Ideas that have been long forgotten can hide there from the modern world. They can be safe there. It’s why I live here. I know that you think I’m ridiculous. I know you like to make jokes when I proscribe an herb smoke for someone’s migraines, I know you think that my crystals and my Tarot cards are all stupid. You forget that I’m used to you making fun of me because you’ve been doing it since I was a goth in middle school.
Trinkett:
I know I looked ridiculous, Frank, but every goth is just a witch in training and here I am now... I’ve never expected you to believe in what I do, but now, with these very strange things happening in town, I think maybe I’m due a little respect, okay?
Trinkett:
... So there I was in the middle of an ancient forest. I had just gotten my fire started and the sun was going down. I got a very strange feeling and I decided to pull some cards. And there, right in a row: The Wheel of Fortune, Death, The Tower, and Judgment... Change is coming... So the next morning I went into the nearest town and I called a friend of mine, Kacy Howe. Kacy works at the Rubin Observatory in Chile. Like a lot of astronomers, Kacy is secretly an astrologer, and will admit in private that the things that happen in the stars above our heads have a very real impact on the things that happen on Earth. I tell Kacey about this feeling I had and about the cards I pulled... And they tell me that something is happening on their end as well. Something in the sky...
Trinkett:
The conventional wisdom is that it’s a series of comets that follow a similar path in the solar system, they call them X-1604 through x-1612. But people like Kacey and people like me have a different idea. The series of comets that astronomers see in the sky is just one comet. A comet with an unpredictable orbit. A comet that returns to Earth whenever it needs to. A comet that brings drastic change and upheaval. It’s called The Wayfaring Stranger.
Trinkett:
Kacey has a few things they need to check and then I’m going to call them later today. Kacey is going to make some adjustments and do some readings and then will let me know.
Trinkett:
... Most ancient cultures have a flood myth. These myths came into being right around the same time all around the world. That was the last time The Wayfaring Stranger visited our planet. The last time this comet passed by us, the world flooded. And later today, we’re going to find out if it’s coming back.
Frank:
Trinkett, I know I’ve been dismissive of you in the past, but I’ve never thought you were stupid or naive for believing the things that you believe.
Frank:
Okay, maybe a little, but look... Do you honestly believe that a comet is heading for Earth and there’s going to be a massive flood around the world?
Trinkett:
I don’t know, Frank. But I’ll say this: I’m glad we’re at the top of a mountain right now.
Trinkett:
That’s exodus. That’s a standard reaction to impending doom. All the dogs in town, all their spirits combining into one collective soul? That’s consolidation. That’s another standard reaction to impeding doom.
Trinkett:
I need more information, obviously. But if I get on the phone today and hear that The Wayfaring Stranger is coming back? I think we’re going to start seeing the people in this town reacting to something. Their spirit selves are going to be sensing something. There’s going to be denial, rebellion, acceptance, resilience, it’s going to be a lot. I honestly don’t know what we’re in for.
Trinkett:
Maybe. Regardless, there are people in town that listen to you and there are people in town that listen to me. They’re going to need both of us.
Eldin:
Vapians, like Earthlings, reproduce through sexual contact. Unlike humans, that sexual contact can result in either partner being inseminated.
Eldin:
Hello, June. Don’t take this personally, but I think Verge is making a terrible mistake in talking to you.
Eldin:
Current census data reads that there are currently 556,349 species of sentient life in The Triad.
Eldin:
The worst place for a Vapian to be is in an environment with unsecured data networks. There are a lot of people out there looking for Vapians, especially this particular Vapian. One stray photo of Verge on a networked security camera could mean big trouble. This entire planet leaks data like submarine with a screen door.
Eldin:
In the time it took you to say that I hacked into your phone and I now have all of your personal banking information. Do you mind if I go shopping?
Eldin:
The Triad is a cluster of three galaxies in close relative proximity that are connected by a series of stable wormholes. The Milky Way, Andromeda, and Trianguulum.
Eldin:
Political tensions in The Triad are at an all time high in the aftermath of a series of rebellious acts referred to colloquially as “Gloria’s War”, wherein an anomaly known as “Midnight Burger” disrupted current power structures across several systems and fomented rebellion on many planets.
Verge:
Look, I owe you a much longer explanation than this but... There’s a lot going on above your head, June. A lot. And I think I know which way the wind is blowing... I think there’s going to be a war.
Verge:
No. That’s the whole point. This place may be dangerous for me right now, but if things go the way I think they’re going to go, Earth will be the safest place. If a war happens, it won’t touch Earth. Earth is too important to both sides.
Verge:
Sure. Like that. Kind of... Eldin’s right though. For the time being it’s dangerous for me here. And if it’s dangerous for me, it’s dangerous for someone else, too. If I’m going to stay here I should probably find a place further away from people, less collateral damage.
June:
Hey hey hey, no you shouldn’t. We don’t turn away business at the Horizon Motel. If you want to be here, you should be here. Jesus Christ, Verge, you saved our lives last night, how bad would we suck if we kicked you out?
Verge:
If you don’t mind me saying, you’ve been strangely fine with my situation from the moment I killed the big dog in your parking lot.
June:
Well, of course I have. Look... when I would get home from school as a kid there would be these reruns of a show on called “Star Trek”, have you heard of this?
June:
The whole thing took place in space, and there was aliens and shit, it was great. But it kind of ruined me, because everything else looked looked boring by comparison. I was dating this guy, and he really wanted us to move to the city. “It’s all happening there,” he would say. And I was like “Oh really? It’s all happening there? Are there Gorns there? I don’t think so.” It ruined me. It’s a cruel trick, you know? We’re given these wild imaginations while being trapped in a world that can never live up to them. I think it’s why I’ve lived here most of my life... But now... well, look at me now, Verge. I’m sitting here with my new alien friend who’s in danger of space bounty hunters and trying to avoid a space war. You can’t leave, Verge. It’s too awesome.
Deidre:
They held them in several towns across the state as a way to try and ease anti-Chinese sentiment.
June:
Oooh. They’ve got fireworks. I bet Trinkett’s got her peasant skirt in a twist about this one.
Frank:
(On the phone.) Are you kidding me, she’s never been more in her element. We have some news, actually. Stay put, we’re coming to you.
June:
Look, I know you think you’re cool with your talking box and your space ship and your alien parts, but that was a time-traveling parade you just witnessed my space-friend. Suck on that.
Deidre:
Oh hey. Yeah. I think the sudden parade outside might have attracted some attention. Please don’t ask me to explain it, by the way, I really have no idea what’s going on.
Deidre:
Me? No. I just get interested in things. My family has been here a long time, my grandfather moved here when he was a kid and now he owns half the town.
Verge:
Um. If you position your ship to the far side of one, it’s a great way to dodge long range scanners.
Verge:
A lot. The closer it gets to a star, the more debris it sheds. Depending on what the comet is made of, it can rain all kinds of hellfire on a planet.
Verge:
Hey, another thing about comets, most cultures regard them as harbingers of doom or drastic change.
Trinkett:
Okay, Kacey. Thank you... if you hear anything else you can leave a message at this number, okay? Please, if you hear anything else... okay... bye...